Funny Quotes

This page is for funny and satirical quotes. Remember to italicize the quote but not the name.

Quotes posted here were deemed suitable by the poster, and will be moderated by the Overseer if necessary. Removal of quotes without authorization can result in a temporary ban from the wikia.

Funny Quotes from the Graal Military World

 * "Guns almost as big as my... Sword." - Kozak
 * "Duuuuuuude.. Take the Auel dildo... Out of your ass." - Kozak
 * "It tickles, to see try and be like Mr. Pickles" - Kozak
 * "I like cutting my ass hair off and smoking it." - Auel
 * "Vulnism....you know, the belief that all badasses are the offspring of our dark lord, Vulnus." - Vulnus
 * "My wood is always locked in a hard on because I'm always fucking bitches." - Vulnus
 * "I love little girls they make me feel so bad" - Vulnus
 * "I just cross dress and get idiots to marry me." - Vulnus
 * "My rainbow dildo is so big it could pleasure Xinke's mom." - Vulnus
 * "My anus is actually quite friendly once you get to know her." - Vulnus
 * "I don't mind dickriders." - Vulnus
 * "Everybody, hug formation.....on me." - Kusan
 * "You're not high enough rank to have health problems." - Kevlar
 * "Canada likes to be made fun of." - Gorgo
 * ""Professor... Professler... Pro wrestler... JOHN CENA!" - Gorgo
 * "In a world where everything is pixels... Pixels are important" - Stein
 * "I'll stick with you until the Earth explodes or whatever" - Stein
 * "Period underscore period" - Stein
 * "Turtles would make great presidents" - Stein
 * "I made your face. You're welcome" - Stein
 * "I will steal a whale from Poseidon" - Stein
 * "Time, Time! Show thine arrogant ass!" - Perseus
 * "3/4‘s of the way into me leading a training, everyone's like 'wats ur rank bub?' I'm like 'Private' their like 'fuuuuccckkk' i'm like 'You can't unkiss my ass, kids.'" - Perseus
 * "Your girl is up for sweepstakes.. and I'll eat her ass like a cheesecake." - Fessler
 * "My name is Jamal and I fly down the hall." - Fessler
 * "Auelu Akbar!" - Nazheek
 * "So is this meeting over or are we all in a really intense staring contest or something?"- Nazheek
 * "In Canada, it's the Asians who don't know how to drive." -Zakiev
 * "I got plans.. FOR THE EVIL STATE EMPIRE OF EVIL"
 * "I will cut off your nipples with a hot spoon" -Artix
 * "Whoops, tripped a deleted state" -Admins
 * "It's better to be pissed off, then pissed on" -Artix
 * "DOVAMEME, DOVAMEME" -Treize
 * "Heil Auel Frank! o/" -Harau


 * “This is the law. Bavaria is now closed.” -Sherlock


 * “All State does is replace one bitch with another bitch.” -Sherlock


 * “Canada will destroy America. We’ll poison your maple syrup and ride on polar bears with lumber axes and take over.” -Sherlock


 * “Do you know why Auel’s so odd? yeah, me neither.” -Sherlock


 * “Get Shreklock’d.” -Sherlock


 * “I’m your new God. A better one. So you will bow down, and profess your love onto me, your Lord, or I shall destroy you.” -Sherlock


 * “Don’t you think she looks tired?” -Sherlock


 * “If you're all Auel Worshippers, you can’t claim diversity.” -Sherlock


 * "Omay." -Sherlock


 * "They hate us, 'cause they ain't us." -Sherlock
 * "This new mount looks like chinese new year was raped by rainbows and a four year olds drawing."-Ajax
 * "Did you not plan for the abomination that is the new military generation? Why don't you have a self destruct button on militaries, Auel? I mean the Starship Enterprise did."-Saul (Sherlock) Goodman
 * "Shit. Xor is online. RUN KIDS RUN" -Aga
 * "If you see me online, you can be rest assured I have nothing better to do while taking a shit."-Vulnus
 * "No one beats me at dance competitions, NO ONE!" -Jin
 * "Basically Michael Phelps is just a giant fucking sperm cell" - Vulnus
 * "I had sex once, but honestly my butt didn't hurt as much as I thought it would"- Constantine
 * "Yeah, the real history is on my other website graalmilitaryinfo.wordpress.com"- Constantine
 * ''"If she doesn't swallow she doesn't love you. Simple enough, right?"- M. Maddox
 * "You messin' with the wrong nigga."- Fessler
 * "I'm not Hillary Clinton... But I need donations."- Fessler
 * "I got so high that day... I sucked a invisible dick. But that's not my point."- Fessler
 * "TRUMP GANG, TRUMP GANG"- Fessler
 * "Nor do we use that State filth"- Azrael
 * "Azraellah Akbar my friends!" - Azrael
 * "RedLlama is one of the greatest figures in the Graal Military Community's history. He never said no to anything and always made the right choices even when the information concerning the choices were slim. He founded Autism and provided us with nothing anyone else could. After years of his service, he was awarded the title of Magnus and Auel, befitting him," -Azrael
 * "M U C K F O R Z A N."- Xinke
 * "Holy shit Tyrell, you look like black Jesus again, you might wanna get that checked out." -Dimitri
 * "Pucci? Are you italian or what?"- Kevlar
 * "Yuuge"- Donald
 * "They hate us cuz they anus."- Bruce Lee
 * "Ima whoop your ass back to Classic. It hurts man, trust me."- Davy Crockett
 * "You may go to Hell, but I'll go to Hell with ya"- Davy Crockett
 * "Paw rebelled because he was triggered by the Trump supporters here. He decided to protest the structural patriarchy and so he made his own safe space." - Grizz
 * "Send nudes or send gifts, you choose." - Kevlar
 * "No homo I will enter your ass and then build a small home in your ass and then raise a family in your ass and then when they pass away i will bury them in your ass,and you will like it because ur gay"-Bruce
 * "I'm making a new guild in a few weeks or so. The "LIT NIGGA GANG GANG FUCKNIGGA GANG SHIT REAL OG CLAPPA BAPPA DISCIPLE STREET HOOD THUGS." The first unit will be coming out a few days after launch, the "1st Chicago Thugs."-Fessler
 * "lol thats actually pretty gay"-Fessler
 * "tfw you ignore someone"-Xinke
 * "So am I like the only one who occasionally jerks off to auels GFX? I mean, it's not like I necessarily LOVE it or anything. It's just a fetish."-Fessler
 * "Fu\ck you xor we pulling up right now, right here. get out of your admin basement safehouse and show me what that dick do."-Fessler
 * "I'm going to make the military community a safe space." - Auel Vist
 * "The new era of the State will be a baby roleplay guild." - Grizz Regium
 * "Let's all rape the baby..." - Dimitri
 * "What the fuck do you want? I was busy raging." -Xinke
 * "fact; I give head for $5. - Auel"
 * "I'm missing so many eggs, I can't even find my own" -Nox
 * "Time goes so fast, I don't like time, lol."-Kusan
 * "I am Sucretery Of Dufinse!" - Dimitri
 * "If you know how to speak English, do you know how to shut the fuck up mate?" -Antonio Garika


 * "Just because you found one head doesn't mean your have found the other. Snakes can have two heads just as humans can have two heads" - Paw
 * "I'm bringing you to court for disrupting the peace in my pants" - Clovis James* Kazakov
 * "When you quote your self, you look retarded"-Me (Jace)
 * "You're like my math homework baby, hard to solve but fun when I know you ;)"-Jace
 * “You think this is a game?“ - KingLlama